A Disturbance in My Force?

“There is a disturbance in the force.” 

Remember that line?  Every so often my daughter reminds me that I am “basically from the 19’s” meaning I was born before the year 2000, unlike she and her brother (they are basically from the 2000’s.)  In my case, I am from the mid 70’s and every person from the mid 70’s knows about the force.  This is a key component to the Star Wars movies.  So what does this have to do with a Christian blog?  In this case, there is a disturbance in my force.

This has been a strange week.  I had an awesome and spiritual Easter weekend.  My writing was flowing and I felt very connected to God.  Now, I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I have been in a funk this week.  I sat down next to my wife one day and she immediately said, “What’s wrong with your countenance?”  It is sometimes uncanny that she knows me that well.  She had it pegged though.  Something has been bothering me and I don’t exactly know what it is or what to do about it.

Part of it is my allowing some of the old stress to come back into my life.  Part of it is the need to be writing more often than I am and the fact that God makes me uncomfortable when I do not make time for Him.  I have tried searching the Scriptures for something, but haven’t found it yet.  I have prayed, but heard no clear voice.  Hence, the cause of my force disturbance

So what am I to do?  I think God gives us these little mini times to work some things out in ourselves.  Unfortunately, I am like most people in that when I pray or read the Bible looking for an answer, what I most want is something to make myself feel better.  Isn’t that what we really want when we are upset or uncomfortable or unnerved?  We just want that feeling to go away.  I am no different.  I want things to be smoothed over and have the nagging feeling in my gut and the subsequent stress to go away. 

However, I haven’t found any place in the Bible that says, “Ye shall be stress free!”  What the Bible does say is that we are to trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding.  It also says to cast our cares upon Him.  How necessary would it be to trust God if we simply found a verse or prayed a prayer that made us feel better when we were out of sorts?  Trust would not be necessary at all; rather it would be just like going to the drug store to get a prescription filled.  We go in and get what we need and then walk out.  I think this is why God sometimes leaves us hanging there a little while, so we will turn to Him and call out to Him.  It is there that we find peace and there that He conforms us more to the image of Jesus. 

So I will keep crying out in prayer.  I will keep searching my heart and soul and listening for the leading of the Spirit.  I will allow myself to be molded and shaped even though it is painful.  I will delve deep into the Word, letting its living message pierce me and penetrate me.  I will seek deliverance, not from my feelings, but rather into His presence.  And when my force is no longer disturbed, I will relish in the One who has brought me to Him.